Kirby Preys on the Innocent
by Demonic lil Angel
Summary: Just some random story after watching some Kirby stuff on Youtube. I get sucked into the game and discover the reality of Kirby games. I do not own Kirby and there is no romance in my life. So don't ask. Swearing, so teen rated. Dark humor.


This story is really, really stupid and random. But I had to write it. My friend supersaiyan3goku is the guy acting as my 'friend'. Changed our names too so don't start calling me by Ashley.

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><p>"So if I beat this game by the end of today, you owe me lunch." I said to my friend Max, suspicious. I sat on his bed wearing my black hair up in a pony tail, glasses, regular jeans, and black t-shirt. And he sat on his spinning leather chair with his brown hair all messy and he was in his jeans and green t-shirt. This seemed too easy. He grinned and nodded to our agreement, almost like he knew something that I didn't.<p>

"Yep! Just beat my Kirby game. But if you don't, you have to... make out with me." I narrowed my eyes at him and took his gameboy and plugged in the reality attachment I bought.

"Perverted son of a bitch..." He chuckled and then he shoved me inside the gameboy screen. "GOOD LUCK WITH THAT CRAZY MUTHER-" Then I couldn't hear anything else over the buzzes now. All of a sudden I hit something soft. I looked up to see his face looking through the gameboy screen.

"This new reality plug in was totally worth the extra fifty!" I yelled to him.

"I know right? And Ashley, you don't have to yell, I can hear you just fine. Can you hear me?" He asked.

"Loud and clear. Where is Kirby?" I asked. Looking around, I could see I was on some grassy hill filled with daisies and other flowers. The skies were blue and cloudless, and in the distance I could see Dedede castle. "Wow this place is gorgeous! I should go on vacation here sometime..."

"Enough with the scenery. Kirby is right over to the right." I looked to my right to see Kirby swallowing an enemy.

"Hey Kirby!" I ran to him and he looked at me wide eyed.

"Who are you?" He asked in a high pitched voice.

"I'm uh... your new sidekick Ashley! Yeah!" I said, then I heard snickers from Max.

"Well then new sidekick! We're going to murder all of these pricks! Got it?" He asked. I was surprised by his language.

"Um... sure..."

"Don't question my tactics on keeping this world safe either! That's how my last sidekick died." I looked at Max wide eyed, and he just shrugged.

"Just go along with it." He said.

"Uh... fine. Where do we start?" Kirby pointed down the hill where some creatures were frolicking.

"We're going to Dedede castle! That son of a bitch stole my cake so I'm gonna mutilate him!" Kirby said, then ran down the hill. My eyes couldn't have been any wider as I watched Kirby begin to kill all those monsters, blood spilling out of each one and all of them were screaming in agony and terror.

"Holy shit..."

"Ashley! Come on!" Kirby yelled. I ran to him, now scared. He had a umbrella with him and stabbed with it. When he lost it, a small waddle dee walked near us.

"Hello there! Nice day isn't it- WAH!" Kirby swallowed him up.

"What the hell man! That guy didn't do anything!" I yelled.

"Oooh no, that guy was a psychopath! A monster! Oh, here comes three more of those pricks!" An umbrella waddle dee, a swordman, and a snowman came near us, all waving.

"Hello there! Want to join us for lunch?" The swordman asked.

"I brought snowcones!" The snowman said excitedly, but then Kirby swallowed the swordman and chopped them all up.

"Oh my god! They only asked if we could join lunch with them! What's wrong with you?" I asked, horrified.

"The only thing wrong is these sons of bitches! Now if you don't get murdering I'll have to swallow you and take whatever power you've got!" He threatened. Fearing for my life, I took his sword and walked up to the nearest monster, which was a harmless little blue bouncy ball.

"Tee hee hee! Lovely weather huh- EAAGH!" I began to cut and stab him, slicing him in half and then slicing him more. I had to close my eyes from what I was doing and finally after the screaming stopped I gave the sword back to Kirby.

"You're a natural! Now let's go kill Dedede!" Kirby said, walking into the castle. I followed him, wiping the blood off my glasses and seeing that even Max didn't expect that.

"DEDEDE YOU MUTHERF***ING SON OF A BITCH! WHERE ARE YOU?" Kirby yelled. Dedede sat on his throne there, eating the cake. Kirby let out a ferocious battlecry and stabbed the guy in the stomach. Dedede screamed in pain and grabbed his hammer. I watched as Kirby, the most adorable puff I knew, was actually a psychotic killing machine as Kirby swung his sword into Dedede's head. Even though it was only the first level we finished, I already had enough. Quickly I ran to the corner of the room, hit the 'OFF' switch, and I was thrown out of the game. I landed on the bed, no longer bloodsoaked but was exhausted.

"What's with you? You quit only after one level?" Max asked, smug.

"Well I didn't know Kirby was a crazy f***er." I hissed out.

"Well neither did I. All I knew was that Dedede was going to pummel you with that cake powerup. Now how about my winnings?" He asked, hopeful. I sighed and got off the bed, then sat on his lap.

"You get ten seconds." I said coldly. He grinned.


End file.
